Most of these photographs I don’t even have words for. They just are.
See Part 1
Monthly Archives: April 2012
Things I Love
contemplating buying French language lessons
wandering bookstores for hours
spur of the moment hang outs
tofu fritters from the Chattabox
wearing sunblock so I smell like summer
iced green tea from Panera Bread
my parents have been married for 34 years today
Sundays. Time off to relax, do laundry, spend most of the day inside my head
unexpected mail
The Happiness Project One Sentence Journal
Love Is A Four Letter Word
(credit)
I love this album. It’s simple and pure and the lyrics are full of positivity and love. The songs are bursting with love. It’s exactly what I need at this very moment. And so I think you should give it a listen, and let me know if it’s what you need, too.
I’m letting myself off the hook for things I’ve done I let my past go past And now I’m having more fun I’m letting go of the thoughts That do not make me strong
I’m letting myself off the hook for things I’ve done
I let my past go
And now I’m having more fun
I’m letting go of thoughts
That do not make me strong
When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
You don’t need a vacation when there’s nothing to escape from
Whether it’s your birthday or your dying day it’s a celebration to rejoice
To use your voice
And give wings
To any old choice
(I think this one is my favorite on the album)
Son in life you’re gonna go far
If you do it right you’ll love where you are
Son in life it may seem dark
But the absence of the light is a necessary part
Just know that where ever you go
No you’re never alone
You can always get back home.
Wanderlust Italy 1
This is the first of many posts where I share pictures from my trip to Italy five years ago. I can’t believe it’s been five year. Italy was a country I was homesick for before I’d ever been and I dream about going back there every day. It was eating gelato multiple times a day, living in a walled city, discovering how to communicate all over again, the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten, hurry up and wait, so much sunshine, postcard days, comfort in something foreign, trying limoncello, pizza with whole olives rolling off the slices, daily markets, siesta every afternoon, magic unfolding everywhere.
* I recently discovered picmonkey and I’ve been addicted to making pictures look awesome. So that’s where these were all edited.
A Room of One’s Own
I totally wish this desk was mine!
I’m not really sure how to describe myself except to say that I need my own space. I need a part of my life that’s untouched, nights after work where I don’t socialize. I need my room to be my room and not for anyone else to come in and clean it or move my things around or hang up winter laundry that needs to be put into storage or take down Christmas lights I’m not done admiring.
In some ways, the internet feels like my own space. This blog, I mean. It’s the part where I can choose what I share and how. It’s my voice, the one that gets lost in groups of people. I’m that person who is never quite heard. Insisting my ideas for five minutes while others around me talk. “Oh hey maybe your grandfather and my mom’s grand father are brothers.” I said that once while we were camping we met some people with my mom’s maiden name and they were trying to figure out the relation. Five minutes later someone actually heard me. At parties where I’m not close to people, I mostly observe the conversation. I am part of it without having a voice. I am absorbing. In ways I am recreating the event in my mind. I’m filing my life under the headline of Fictional Scenes and creating characters out of people I barely know. Or, if I’m in a coffee shop eavesdropping on the interestingness of other people, I am creating their lives. I am documenting what I think their lives should be and writing Morning Character posts about them.
The thing about being a reader is that it’s so easy to be absorbed you sort of forget to live. Like sometimes I get jealous of characters who have lives. Who are out living while I am there watching them. Hobbies that include fiction or television shows or watching films are passive hobbies.
I write because I don’t always want to be passive and this is the only way I know how to be. I write in my blog because I want to be heard when subjects and conversations
One time someone told me that if I spoke with the same peace of mind I write with, maybe people would know me better. Or maybe they would understand. (I’m sorry I forget exactly what you said. You might not even remember saying it). But a lot of times that peace of mind comes when I have a keyboard beneath my fingers or a pen and paper easily accessible.
I’ve recently realized I’m introverted. You’d think, knowing all I know about myself, I would have realized this sooner. But to be honest I never really thought much about it. But reading this article Nourishing Your Inner Introvert made me think even more about it. Made me think about how it’s okay to be introverted. It’s okay that I don’t always want to hang out after my social schedule is over booked (by my own definition). It’s okay that I don’t always want to watch TV with my entire family lounging around the television in the living room. And while it’s okay, and I know it’s okay to be this way, to be ME the way I know how to be me, it’s often that people don’t understand. I ignore the constant requests to watch TV when there’s stuff I need to be doing. And I can’t always make plans five times a week when every person I know seems to be demanding my attention. Sometimes I can’t immediately respond to text messages. And I think part of this explains sporadic blogging. Because sometimes using my voice and speaking out and going through the motions of writing a coherent post, finding pictures for it and publishing it all feels a little too demanding.
But all of this is okay. It’s just part of who I am. And I need to stop hating on myself for being lazy or for not writing or whatever. Because it’s not laziness that causes this overwhelming fog of exhaustion sometimes when I think about needing to write another blog post. Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE blogging. I just can’t adore it every hour of every day all of the time (to infinity and beyond, 24 hours a day in color).
And this isn’t an exercise in making excuses, it’s an attempt to dig deeper, accept more and to reach out.
Would you consider yourself introverted? Do you have a hard time feeling like other people understand you need for alone time? Do you have any tips of other introverts?
Make It Count & Things I Love
This is your life. What are you doing with it?
(If someone gave me money to make a video about making life count, this is what I would do)
I’m sorry it’s been a while. The words aren’t making it past my journal or Google Docs.
Things I Love:
Dermalogica Redness Relief (even though it’s a lot of money)
rereading what I wrote during NaNoWriMo in November and still being excited about the story
Dunkin Donuts Sun dried tomato bagels
making gratitude lists daily
I’m rereading the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
delivering Easter chocolates a day late
“favorite parts” of hanging out
making up ice cream sundae concoctions (mocha chip with peanut butter sauce, a tiny bit of hot fudge and lots of cinnamon)
playing with camera apps on my phone (like Instagram. Starsgoneblue. Add me).
deactivating my Facebook. Seriously refreshing
the exact temperature of 6:30 this morning while the birds were chirping a the sun hadn’t quite hit my window yet
spending an entire day alone sitting by the beach, drinking Peanut Butter Cup iced coffee, eating a Sierra Turkey sandwich before going to another beach/ park and sitting and reading
writing blog posts by hand. the disconnect is that they never make it to the screen
being told I smell like a girl (instead of, what, a boy?)
coconut & lime scented body butter
Lindt truffles
talking about going to Paris
thinking about taking a lone road trip up the coast of California
homesickness for Lucca, Italy
daydreaming daydreaming daydreaming
I got accepted to San Jose State University! I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on here before. I’m going to be participating in their graduate program to get an MLIS - which stands for Masters of Library and Information Science. I’m not sure how this will affect my blogging efforts, but we’ll see how it goes when the time comes. It’s my understanding that graduate students don’t have any free time, so we’ll see! (Also I’m planning on trying to find scholarships. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know.)
xo
MK
