On Running…

photo courtesy of The Color Run dot Com

Have I told you that I signed up for a 5k? No?

I’ve never been able to run. In grade school I was that girl who finished twenty minutes after everyone else’s 8 minute run with my steady walk. I cheated around the corners of the track and fields we had to lap, I decided that one lap really meant to, I didn’t give a shit about stupid health exams. They ask you to run once a year and record your time. Like that means anything in the grand scheme of healthiness.

But anyway. I still can’t run. And the 5k I’m doing is in a month from today. I realized yesterday that it’s been a month (!!!!) since I attempted my Couch to 5k program.

The 5k I signed up for is called The Color Run. (Because Gala was talking about it, really). It looks amazing. And the only reason I signed up really is because at every kilometer people on the sidelines throw colored talc-like powder at you. And you end up all sweaty… but colorful at the same time. And I’ve always wanted to do a 5k. It seemed like the perfect motivation.

Obviously it hasn’t been the perfect motivation.

Because my sneakers started to hurt, I needed to wait until I had the money to buy running sneakers (and be properly fitted and run on a treadmill while a girl videotaped my legs running), and running is hard, man. And then I got a cold. I can run for about 30 seconds at a time. In intervals between that and walking, I Can do about twenty minutes. Something tells me that won’t get me very far.

So I figured out what 3 miles is near my house (if you didn’t know, a 5k is 3.1 miles). I plan to walk around the blog every day I can, timing myself and aiming to go faster and faster. If I do it in under an hour, that’s 20 minute miles,  out of shape me walking very fast. (While my out of shape friend Karen, who agreed to get all rainbow-y with me is aiming for a 35 minute 5k. I am practically running this thing ALONE).

So I’m still not a runner. I’m not even really a fast walker. I’m a girl with a cold whose throat is too dry to allow her to finish sentences who weighs too much to really run who has a month left to “train” to get colored talc powder thrown at her.

I’m hoping it’s not one of those 95+ degree days like the ones we were having last week. But otherwise, I’m still pretty damn excited.

I’ll update you in a month, assuming I survive this endeavor.