Things I Love

contemplating buying French language lessons
wandering bookstores for hours
spur of the moment hang outs
tofu fritters from the Chattabox
wearing sunblock so I smell like summer
iced green tea from Panera Bread
my parents have been married for 34 years today
Sundays. Time off to relax, do laundry, spend most of the day inside my head
unexpected mail
The Happiness Project One Sentence Journal

Love Is A Four Letter Word

(credit)

I love this album. It’s simple and pure and the lyrics are full of positivity and love. The songs are bursting with love. It’s exactly what I need at this very moment. And so I think you should give it a listen, and let me know if it’s what you need, too.

I’m letting myself off the hook for things I’ve done I let my past go past And now I’m having more fun I’m letting go of the thoughts That do not make me strong

I’m letting myself off the hook for things I’ve done
I let my past go
And now I’m having more fun
I’m letting go of thoughts
That do not make me strong


When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

You don’t need a vacation when there’s nothing to escape from

Whether it’s your birthday or your dying day it’s a celebration to rejoice
To use your voice
And give wings
To any old choice

(I think this one is my favorite on the album)

Son in life you’re gonna go far
If you do it right you’ll love where you are

Son in life it may seem dark
But the absence of the light is a necessary part

Just know that where ever you go
No you’re never alone
You can always get back home.

Wanderlust Italy 1


This is the first of many posts where I share pictures from my trip to Italy five years ago. I can’t believe it’s been five year. Italy was a country I was homesick for before I’d ever been and I dream about going back there every day. It was eating gelato multiple times a day, living in a walled city, discovering how to communicate all over again, the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten, hurry up and wait, so much sunshine, postcard days, comfort in something foreign, trying limoncello, pizza with whole olives rolling off the slices, daily markets, siesta every afternoon, magic unfolding everywhere.










 

* I recently discovered picmonkey and I’ve been addicted to making pictures look awesome. So that’s where these were all edited.

A Room of One’s Own

Credit: Fresh Design Blog

I totally wish this desk was mine!

I’m not really sure how to describe myself except to say that I need my own space. I need a part of my life that’s untouched, nights after work where I don’t socialize. I need my room to be my room and not for anyone else to come in and clean it or move my things around or hang up winter laundry that needs to be put into storage or take down Christmas lights I’m not done admiring.

In some ways, the internet feels like my own space. This blog, I mean. It’s the part where I can choose what I share and how. It’s my voice, the one that gets lost in groups of people. I’m that person who is never quite heard. Insisting my ideas for five minutes while others around me talk. “Oh hey maybe your grandfather and my mom’s grand father are brothers.” I said that once while we were camping we met some people with my mom’s maiden name and they were trying to figure out the relation. Five minutes later someone actually heard me. At parties where I’m not close to people, I mostly observe the conversation. I am part of it without having a voice. I am absorbing. In ways I am recreating the event in my mind. I’m filing my life under the headline of Fictional Scenes and creating characters out of people I barely know. Or, if I’m in a coffee shop eavesdropping on the interestingness of other people, I am creating their lives. I am documenting what I think their lives should be and writing Morning Character posts about them.

The thing about being a reader is that it’s so easy to be absorbed you sort of forget to live. Like sometimes I get jealous of characters who have lives. Who are out living while I am there watching them. Hobbies that include fiction or television shows or watching films are passive hobbies.

I write because I don’t always want to be passive and this is the only way I know how to be. I write in my blog because I want to be heard when subjects and conversations

One time someone told me that if I spoke with the same peace of mind I write with, maybe people would know me better. Or maybe they would understand. (I’m sorry I forget exactly what you said. You might not even remember saying it). But a lot of times that peace of mind comes when I have a keyboard beneath my fingers or a pen and paper easily accessible.

I’ve recently realized I’m introverted. You’d think, knowing all I know about myself, I would have realized this sooner. But to be honest I never really thought much about it. But reading this article Nourishing Your Inner Introvert made me think even more about it. Made me think about how it’s okay to be introverted. It’s okay that I don’t always want to hang out after my social schedule is over booked (by my own definition). It’s okay that I don’t always want to watch TV with my entire family lounging around the television in the living room. And while it’s okay, and I know it’s okay to be this way, to be ME the way I know how to be me, it’s often that people don’t understand. I ignore the constant requests to watch TV when there’s stuff I need to be doing. And I can’t always make plans five times a week when every person I know seems to be demanding my attention. Sometimes I can’t immediately respond to text messages. And I think part of this explains sporadic blogging. Because sometimes using my voice and speaking out and going through the motions of writing a coherent post, finding pictures for it and publishing it all feels a little too demanding.

But all of this is okay. It’s just part of who I am. And I need to stop hating on myself for being lazy or for not writing or whatever. Because it’s not laziness that causes this overwhelming fog of exhaustion sometimes when I think about needing to write another blog post. Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE blogging. I just can’t adore it every hour of every day all of the time (to infinity and beyond, 24 hours a day in color).

And this isn’t an exercise in making excuses, it’s an attempt to dig deeper, accept more and to reach out.

Would you consider yourself introverted? Do you have a hard time feeling like other people understand you need for alone time? Do you have any tips of other introverts?

Make It Count & Things I Love

 

 

This is your life. What are you doing with it?

(If someone gave me money to make a video about making life count, this is what I would do)

I’m sorry it’s been a while. The words aren’t making it past my journal or Google Docs.

Things I Love:
Dermalogica Redness Relief (even though it’s a lot of money)
rereading what I wrote during NaNoWriMo in November and still being excited about the story
Dunkin Donuts Sun dried tomato bagels
making gratitude lists daily
I’m rereading the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
delivering Easter chocolates a day late
“favorite parts” of hanging out
making up ice cream sundae concoctions (mocha chip with peanut butter sauce, a tiny bit of hot fudge and lots of cinnamon)
playing with camera apps on my phone (like Instagram. Starsgoneblue. Add me).
deactivating my Facebook. Seriously refreshing
the exact temperature of 6:30 this morning while the birds were chirping a the sun hadn’t quite hit my window yet
spending an entire day alone sitting by the beach, drinking Peanut Butter Cup iced coffee, eating a Sierra Turkey sandwich before going to another beach/ park and sitting and reading
writing blog posts by hand. the disconnect is that they never make it to the screen
being told I smell like a girl (instead of, what, a boy?)
coconut & lime scented body butter
Lindt truffles
talking about going to Paris
thinking about taking a lone road trip up the coast of California
homesickness for Lucca, Italy
daydreaming daydreaming daydreaming

I got accepted to San Jose State University! I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on here before. I’m going to be participating in their graduate program to get an MLIS - which stands for Masters of Library and Information Science. I’m not sure how this will affect my blogging efforts, but we’ll see how it goes when the time comes. It’s my understanding that graduate students don’t have any free time, so we’ll see! (Also I’m planning on trying to find scholarships. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know.)

xo
MK

2nd Day of Spring, Wanderlove and Little Changes

It’s the second day of Spring.Spring is the day I count down to starting every January first. The sun is shining and the weather is unnaturally warm and the best feeling in the world is driving without a jacket while wearing sun glasses and really listening to music. Letting it move you.

Every once in a while I impulse buy a book that’s simply amazing and exactly what I need. It doesn’t happen very often, but I’m sure it’s the reason I can’t stop myself from impulse buying. Because sometimes it’s just about the simple act of buying a book. And other times there’s something more, a subconscious pull to the entire world that’s about to unfold around me.

And those are the books that make me feel alive.

And yearn.

This most recent find is a YA book called Wanderlove about a girl traveling in Guatemala. It was enough to make me start up a new savings account. Enough to make me think that maybe things are possible.

I’ve made a lot of little comments recently where the person I was speaking to corrected me, told me to think about what I said different. “Don’t say never” or, “it’s all about attitude” and I remember how my negative thoughts make everything feel like it’s a drag. How it’s so easy to forget that anything is possible when you can’t imagine anything really happening. When you imagine yourself stagnant, because that’s how you feel, that’s how you remain until you have the courage to pull yourself out of the water.

And so I changed my saving habits (or at least, I will when my direct deposit goes through) and practiced saying no to the demands of others. (The hanging out, spending money, wasting dollars on things). I’ve decided to start playing around with cooking. I can create my own to-die-for meals so that I can cook for other people in the future instead of just myself.

And also, I’ve decided that I can write for 15 minutes a day. And go to the gym (or work out) for fifteen minutes a day. These are the commitments I’m making to myself. Just to make things possible.

Little changes amount to something big. Another little change I’m making is, starting in April, accepting swaps for ad space. If anyone’s interested e-mail me at starsgoneblue at gmail.

To Francesca and her Faerie Cottage

Guys, my favorite author and amazing teacher Francesca Lia Block is having some issues with Bank of America regarding re-financing her mortgage. I would love it if you could take the time to sign her petition to help save her faerie cottage. And if you’re interested in reading more details, you can go here.

To Francesca and her Faerie Cottage

for decades (!!)
you have inspired girls who never quite belonged
because your stories helped us fit somewhere
between the layers of high school, girl fights,
first loves, manuscripts, late nights,
early sunrises, best friends, and that never ending post-college haze
we’ve turned into poets, librarians, actresses, photographers, lovers and fighters
your words have always been a source of light
the kind that is like
a mixture of honey drenched over the world
and rose tinted contact lenses,
and jacaranda blossoms
and trays of pink sushi rolls, jasmine rice and green coconut tea
the faerie cottage has been a character in our dreams
that place we always assumed you lived and danced and loved
and wrote the magic we see on pages between hard covers
you won’t lose it because it was part of you
even before and certainly during
this present moment
<3
 

Things I Love

It’s so easy to let says slip by unnoticed. Then suddenly you’re in the middle of being 27 years old and you’re wondering what you’re doing. Or you’ve realized it’s the middle of March 2012 and you haven’t posted one single thing for this month in your blog. Or maybe you’re halfway down the block when you realize you didn’t bring what you needed or that you should have gone in the opposite direction. I feel like life is a lot like that. It’s a string of words on a necklace, it’s comprised of many tasks or events, it’s the amount of paychecks we can acquire over time. Life really isn’t that. But it’s easy to just let it slip by and become that. Mundane.

Then you meet someone and you wonder, why weren’t you really in my life sooner? Or you read a book that makes you cry the hardest tears. Or a movie goes in theaters that you are actually excited about even if it’s based off a book (aren’t they all nowadays?). Or you and some of your friends decide to start an online magazine and the debut date is creeping up so damn fast.

My point today was really that I haven’t done Things I Love Thursday in forever, and I haven’t posted about things I love in general, and this is something that’s important to me. It’s so easy to let the days slip by, the weeks move on to the next and all of a sudden you’re in the middle of the middle of… of what, really? You  may not even know. And you can’t remember quite how you got there. Or why you’re still there.

Taking the time to write about things that you love breaks up the time. It forces you to think, to appreciate. It’s a moment in time where you can’t have anything but love. At least, that’s what it’s like for me. And I’ve been missing that.

And so, here are some things I love today. This week. In March. Whatever.

Spur of the moment bus rides to New York City
Watching the Wizard of Oz for the first time in years
Receiving a package in the mail consisting of a zine I bought, some beautiful hair bows and other things I won in a blog giveaway (Thank you, Erica!)
Looking up at the stars in the middle of the night and feeling the weight of existence.
Buying a new purse
Microwaving frozen veggie Samosas (definitely not as good as the real thing, but good enough)
New sweet mint chapstick that tingles (by EOS)
Finding an amazing Photobooth app on my phone (It’s called Pocketbooth) then promptly using it all of the time.
A grey cardigan with sequins on it.
Pretending to be a tourist in Plymouth
Smelling like Paris Amour and Be Enchanted
clean sheets

What do you love today?

Internet Wandering

Some good reads you should check out while I spend my weekend creating experiences to write about and hiding out with my netbook pondering life and ignoring carpal tunnel (What are your weekend plans?).

I’ve been so anxious lately. General, obscure anxiety. So this post came at a perfect time for me. Judgment does not come from a high place looking down. It comes from a scared place projecting out. Like a frightened animal baring it’s teeth.

Being a twenty-something is hard work. It’s not what it used to be so the adults (because I don’t consider myself an adult? I’m not sure. Older adults?) don’t quite understand why we’re here doing what we’re doing living in our childhood homes or not quite settling down. Or working our “dream” jobs or even know what our dream jobs are. 10 Things Nobody Warned Me About My Twenties

A Manifesto on Calorie Counting that I only partially agree with (I think calorie counting can be helpful for figuring out how much of the right foods someone should be eating. When you’re still starving all day, calorie counting helps you figure out if you’re really hungry or if your mind is going in different ways). But it’s a good read either way.

I want to chalk my hair.

25 Clever Ideas to make Life Easier. Rubbing a walnut over scratched furniture to disguise dings and scrapes? -rubs walnuts all over my bedroom floor-

How Avoiding Refined Sugar Changed A Woman’s Life. I keep on meaning to cut out sugar. I keep on trying to for like, a moment in time and the thought fades. But really, I need to. Posts like these convince me more and more that I should cut down.

Printable Love Notes

On Sunday I went to a reading at the Bowery Poetry Club in New York City. Here’s a review of the reading, and here’s a video of the last piece — the girls read from Francesca Lia Block’s story The Real Housewives of Mount Olympus.

 

Are any of you guys on Pintrest? You can find me there

With Smartphone Apps Anyone Can Be A Photographer

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